Violence and Abuse
by Salvador Panelo
RECENTLY, the country’s attention was riveted on a spate of celebrity couples’ published marital conflicts, three of which involve showbiz and sports personalities that culminated in the filing of cases in court – while the third, a former beauty queen married to a politician, most likely will end in a court room drama.
How could fairly tale romances culminating in grand weddings terminate in an emotion-drained court battles over the custody of children – and accusations of physical, sexual, psychological and economic abuse?
Why should dashing suitors, becoming romantic lovers and grooms, turn into philandering cheats, psychological and sexual abusers – and financially tightwad monsters? Or expose themselves as closeted gays whose sexual preference is their own gender?
Why would loving, caring and faithful wives seek the comfort and solace of other men, outside of their husbands? But why not? If the husbands, in addition to failing to perform or understanding his marital obligations – would rather enjoy the sexuality of younger women – or in the case of gay husbands, would rather spend his time flirting and cavorting with men, why not?
There must be some explanations, and answers to the questions we pose. But I guess, while the psychologists and psychiatrists have their scientific analysis on the whys and wherefores of marriages on the rocks, the root of these marital problems is traceable to the failure of both the spouses in not knowing and understanding exactly their role in the marriage – and in most cases, the man does not know how to manage his time, the balance between the time he spends at work and the hours he uses at home, and in addition, the time he spends with his friends – as well as one night stands with his girlfriends – or ‘every night stand’ with his other female friends.
This is not to say that the wife can escape blame for the failure of the marital bond. A wife who does not assert her rights as a person in the face of incipient abuse from the husband contributes to the growth and the regularity of the abuse. A wife who ignores the tell-tale signs of a budding philandering husband encourages the man to go full blast with his errant ways. A wife who allows herself to be battered physically emboldens the husband to become a certified wife beater.
In the case of a popular TV host and commercial endorser, who married a sports celebrity, in getting a protection order from the court, she claimed that there was an attempt to sexually assault her in front of their son. On television, the sports celebrity fearfully denied the assault – and explained that he was merely playfully pretending to kiss his wife in the presence of their son. Given the exaggeration of the flamboyant character that his celebrity wife is known for – and considering the humble origins and the mild-mannered demeanor of the basketball star, it is puzzling why the court granted the protection order.
Regarding the movie actress, whose siblings are also in showbiz – and like her, are mired in controversies, in seeking redress in court for the issuance of a protective order from the court, she claims that she was physically beaten by the movie actor husband – who incidentally is not known for being a brute or a brawler. Rather he is known as a soft-spoken and good mannered man.
On the other hand, another beautiful and sexy movie star filed a criminal complaint against her multi-awarded movie actor husband for alleged physical abuse and rape. Yes, a wife can file a criminal complaint for rape against a husband. The actress charged the actor with violation of Republic Act 9262 or the Anti-Violence Against Women and Children Law before the Office of the City Prosecutor of Quezon City.
The actress claims that the actor barged into her house in Quezon City, on May 12, 2013, while she was alone – attacked her, employed physical harm, and raped her! The showbiz celebrity couple have filed an annulment for their marriage. They have been living separately since their publicized split-up some months prior. In her complaint, the actress claims that her husband’s “foregoing and other series of philandering and womanizing ways” have shattered their twelve years of marriage.
The actress said that she and her children were forced to leave their conjugal home last February of this year.
The actress moreover claims that she and her children have been deprived by the actor-husband of support, shelter and means of transportation. She has also accused her husband of harassing her, of threatening her with physical harm, obscene accusations and grave defamations. She charged that her husband “deceitfully” took custody of their children on July 29, 2013, and refused to return them to her – and she has been since then denied rightful custody and access to her children.
The movie actress filed a separate petition for a temporary protection order against the actor-husband.
Meanwhile, a former beauty queen, a Binibining Pilipinas title-holder and candidate to the Miss Universe Contest, an active social worker and business entrepreneur and married to a legislator, went public five weeks ago – and announced that she was seriously contemplating of filing charges of psychological and economic abuse against her husband, apart from instituting a petition to annul her marriage to the lawmaker.
We recall that in October of last year, the former beauty queen stated in a press conference in her hometown that she filed a church annulment of her marriage against the husband. The lawmaker-husband issued a statement in May last year confirming the separation from his wife after 12 years of being together as husband and wife, and that they have been living separately since November 2011.
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